Key points

• You can teach children with disability new skills by telling, showing, or teaching step by step.
• Think about the skill you want to teach your child. A well-chosen skill can motivate your child to learn.
• It’s OK to ask for support when you’re teaching new skills to children with disability.

Choosing skills to teach to children with disability

If you choose appropriate skills to teach to your child, it can motivate your child and make it more likely that your child will successfully learn.

For example, you could consider the following questions when you’re thinking about skills:

• Is your child physically capable of learning the skill?
• Can your child understand what you want them to do?
• Does your child want to learn the skill?
• Will the skill help your child be more independent, or do something that they want to do?

The answers to these questions will help you work out which skills to teach your child, and which of the strategies below best suits the skill.

Focusing on one skill at a time

Children with disability can find everyday activities very challenging, so it’s important to focus on teaching only one thing at a time. For example, a child with cerebal palsy might use a lot of physical and mental energy just to sit upright in a chair, so it can be hard for them to do anything else while sitting.

For children with disability, it also helps to reduce distractions and make sure that your child’s environment is set up for them to learn.

Instructions: teaching by telling

This is teaching children how to do something by explaining what to do or how to do it. This strategy works best if you do some planning before you start.

Before you start

• Make a simple plan of the task you want your child to learn. If the task involves several parts, break down your instructions into a series of simple steps.
• Think about how to explain exactly what you want your child to do. For example, say, ‘Clean your teeth, and then get dressed for school’, rather than ‘Get ready for school’. Try starting with 1-2 specific instructions, and then add more steps.
• If your child has trouble understanding words, you could use a poster or pictures to explain what you want your child to do.

As you go

• Make sure you’ve got your child’s attention.
• If your child can make eye contact, encourage your child to look at you while you speak.
• Use language that your child understands. Keep your sentences short and simple.
• Allow plenty of time (up to one minute) for your child to respond, and then give lots of praise when your child follows your instruction. Say exactly what your child did right.
• Be aware of your tone of voice. Your child can be distracted if you sound frustrated or upset.

When the task is finished

• Avoid giving a lot of negative feedback if your child doesn’t get it right. Instead, just point out 1-2 things your child could do differently next time.
• As your child learns, give fewer instructions or even phase out instructions completely.
• If a planned task doesn’t work out, wait a few days and try again.

There are many reasons why children might not follow instructions. They might not understand. They might need more opportunities to practise before they can do what you’re asking them to do. Or they just might not want to do what you’re asking.

Modelling: teaching by showing

Children learn what to do and how to do it by watching you. This is called modelling.

It means you can teach your child many things by showing them what to do. For example, you’re more likely to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’ your child how to pack toys away, wash up a cup or feed a pet.

You can also use modelling to teach your child how to interact with others – for example, asking a teacher for help, or introducing yourself to another person. And modelling is a great way to teach skills that are hard to explain in words, like body language and tone of voice.

Modelling might also be a good option if your child finds it hard to make eye contact with you. Modelling means your child can watch your actions and behaviour as you show them what to do, rather than your face as you tell them.

Before you start

• Make sure you’ve got your child’s attention.
• Get your child to watch first, and then move slowly so that your child can clearly see what you’re doing.
• If your child struggles to copy your actions while facing you, let your child sit alongside you, or copy you while watching from behind.

As you go

• Break down the task if it’s complicated. Start with the easiest part and give your child time to try it before you move onto the next part.
• Point out the important parts of what you’re doing. For example, ‘See how I’m …’.
• Use ‘thinking aloud’ comments. For example, ‘That wasn’t quite right – I think I’ll try that again’.
• Give your child the chance to practise after watching you.

When the task is finished

• Repeat the modelling if needed.
• Praise and encourage your child.

It’s important not to model behaviour that you don’t want to teach – for example, giving up when it’s hard, or raising your voice when you’re angry. You might like to try our ideas for managing stress.

Teaching step by step

Some tasks or activities are complicated or need to happen in a sequence. For these, you can break the task down into smaller steps, and teach your child one step at a time.

For example, here’s how you might break down getting dressed:

• Get clothes out.
• Put on underpants.
• Put on socks.
• Put on shirt.
• Put on pants.
• Put on a jumper.

Each of these steps can be broken down into parts as well. For example, you could explain ‘Put on a jumper’ like this:

• Face the jumper the right way.
• Pull the jumper over your head.
• Put one arm through.
• Put the other arm through.
• Pull the jumper down.

The idea of step-by-step teaching is to teach one step at a time. When your child has learned the first step, you teach the next step, then the next, and so on. You keep going until your child can do the whole task by themselves. You can use instructions and modelling to help your child learn each step.

A poster showing each of the steps can help too.

Teaching with backwards steps
It’s often a good idea to teach a complicated task like getting dressed by starting with the last step, rather than the first. This is called backwards teaching.

For example, if you want to use backwards teaching for putting on a jumper, you might help your child put the jumper over their head and put their arms in. Then get your child to do the last step – that is, pulling the jumper down.

Once your child can pull the jumper down, get your child to put their arms through and then pull the jumper down. Go on like this until your child has mastered each step of the task and can do the whole thing.

Helping your child complete the steps
You might help your child by gesturing, reminding them of the next step, or helping physically – for example, putting your hands over your child’s hands and guiding them through the movements. You can gradually phase out your help as your child learns the new skill.